Jokes generator

Why shouldn't you sleep with a weatherman? They'll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you'll only get 3 to 5.

So I beat a Russian Grand Master once. With his own cane.

Dear lord, I thank you for these noodles I am about to eat. Ramen.

The definition of mixed emotions... My mother-in-law driving of a cliff in my new car

What's the best part of a pregnancy joke? The delivery.

I met the inventor of the trampoline. He's an all round nice guy, but a bit jumpy.

The more we ban gluten, the black market demand for it skyrockets and the Mexican gluten cartels make a killing.

I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction, could you say my addiction has gotten out of hand?

An alcoholic walks into a candy store... then a table, then a chair, floor.

What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand? *hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING?!?!?!