Funny Quote Generator

“ It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes. ”

~Jay London

“ Miami Beach is where neon goes to die. ”

~Lenny Bruce

“ Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? ”

~Robert Benchley

“ The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. ”

~Arthur C. Clarke

“ I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there. ”

~Fred Allen

“ I cannot sing, dance or act what else would I be but a talk show host. ”

~David Letterman